Ok, you are prob rolling your eyes already. It’s hard not to think about it when you come across daily reminders. And it is so easy to be sucked into it, letting it control your thoughts.

As you know by now I have some bad habits that I’m trying to work on. Maybe I’ve been too focused on it, causing stress that turned it against me? Or maybe I’m just trying to find excuses to why it happened.


Same shorts: Two years apart.

What I do know is that I need to seek help. I’m not able to fix it, not even with my poor Google skills. I need long term solution by someone who can put me on the right path.

I need to find love for food.
I need to learn how to work out properly.
And most important,
I need to fin out how to love myself.

Ironically, I made a motivation playlist on Spotify, because I wanted this year to finally be my year. “Getting fit 2019”. I’ve never done anything to have a healthy body and soul in my life. The moment I try, that’s the moment I head the opposite direction. As much as I want to beat myself up for my bad choices, I know it’s only going to get me deeper into the mess I created.

Oh well.